My first ever hero was my Dad. He’d been
all round the world in a Submarine. A very clever man with tattoos of Mermaids
and Parrots – as sailors do – drank like a fish, hard as nails, never lost his rag and could do the Times
crossword blindfold! Very, very clever! I wanted to join the Navy. My Mam was
from a Gypsy background and the King of the Gypsies was my Uncle Bee – another
early hero - who told me captivating stories about his herd of Donkeys, spotted
paint and how he used to hide from the kiddy catcher - under a bridge in
Pickering, with a big doorstep sandwich – because he wouldn’t go to school. I
wanted to be a Gypsy.
1970s was spent playing ‘Cowboys and
Indians’, with my Stokesley – my home town - mates, Geronimo, that was me, I
wanted to be a Red Indian. I was also obsessed with the TV show ‘Kung Fu’
staring David Carradine – Bruce Lee was considered for the part but he was too
Chinese for the West. I always wanted to walk on rice paper and burn Dragon
marks onto my forearms by picking up a red hot cauldron. I wanted to be
Grasshopper. Looking back, I think that show influenced more than just the
kids. I remember two Stokesley lads, twins, in their 20s, Waffa and Wacka,
would walk through the town doing Karate Kicks to imaginary bad guys. Stokesley
was like that, full of characters, all acting, playing, enjoying life.
I have nothing to say about school at all.
It wasn’t till I went to New College Durham to study Drama and the Theatre
Arts, that I became seriously interested in learning. My tutor - and next hero
on my list - John Sansick, a very big man with a very big theatrical voice,
what he didn’t know about Theatre wasn’t worth knowing. I wanted a big
Theatrical voice. He told me all about these amazing people; Samuel Becket,
Harold Pinter, and the different styles of Theatre, lots, but what really blew
my brain, was the Theatre of the Absurd. That was it! ‘Absurd, Absurd, Absurd,
life is Absurd!!!’. Suddenly, at 17 years, I didn’t want to be Geronimo
anymore; I wanted to be Bertolt Brecht! So I bought some cheap cigars and
pretended to understand big words like; Episodic, Alienation, Catharsis. What
the hell they meant I did not know, but I didn’t need to know; I was Brecht.
Then I went to Drama School, late 80s, and
I meet Robert Tailor, a voice and acting coach. He had an amazing presence and
great performance skill. I wanted to be him. It was at Drama School that I also
met the most influential person I’ve ever met and will ever meet ever in my
life, and for that I am convinced; Jim Uglow. Jim was, and still is, an expert
in Chinese Martial Arts. He taught a movement class based on Chinese
disciplines to the Acting Students. Now Jim was different, a little odd, very
happy, free, focused, with concentration unmatched, not normal, a fun
character, but didn’t have an Ego, at all, different. Meeting somebody like
this is a bit scary. Please don’t misunderstand my affection and admiration for
all the people I’ve listed above, and the word Ego in no way implies big head,
or love me do types. None of my heroes were like that at all! This Ego thing
confused me. This identifying with things, people, places, the Past, the
Future, that’s all I knew. For the
first time in my life, I felt naked, a bit lost. I loved Jim and still do, but
I didn’t want to be him. I was confused. Damn! The world of make-believe came
to an end. Meeting Jim was a bit like looking in a mirror that exposes who you
really are. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see that, I don’t think I liked it. The
Truth. Yak.
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